Time warp

This place has the strangest effect on my sense of time; I never know what day it is, only the date and the time... could be Monday, could be Thursday: Who knows?

It's been interesting. I have been here for almost a month, I think... there goes that sense of time thing again. I can say that it took me about 3 weeks to really find my feet here and feel like I know what the hell I'm doing. And now that it has been 32 days (but who's counting?) I feel like my skills have the bump I was hoping they would be for me to be a more confident midwife back at home.

Yeah, I came here for some numbers, I won't lie but I also came here for some confidence.

That being said, I freaking WANT TO GO HOME. I have 15 days not counting today which is technically just getting started. I was second on last night and I got called to the birth center at 3:30 for a birth that didn't take place until 7:30 so I was up for several hours and now I am first on tonight. Already there have been 3 births (all of which I missed due to the timing of shifts) but two of which I had to do postpartum vitals and discharge and then clean the rooms, do all of the trash, and handle the laundry. I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't suck to have to do hours and hours of work after someone else gets the catch but the general feeling around here is what goes around comes around.... I have yet to be able to hand over one of my postpartum clients though I am looking forward to that happening someday!

Anyway, back to wanting to go home; I have all of my numbers that I needed except for 1 newborn exam. Yay! I will still stay until October 15th unless they seriously don't need me in which case I would so love to go home a few days early. I know it will be over soon but I cannot wait to get back to my kids and husband. I am one of those people who doesn't enjoy being out of her comfort zone and this has been about 90% out of my comfort zone.

My advice to anyone coming here is to just put one foot in front of the other and try not to look at the big picture... keep it small. One day at a time, etc. If I sit here and look at the schedule of the next two weeks I will feel overwhelmed so instead I just look at it one shift (sometimes one hour) at a time and that makes it seem more manageable.